Lesson 5: all musicals are suitable for children

That's right. Musicals never contain adult themes, violence, bad language or scenes of a sexual nature. Musicals are good, wholesome family fun. They are universal - suitable for all. If an usher tries to suggest otherwise - say, for example, that Cabaret isn't really suitable for under 15s, and you probably don't want to take little Tarquin to see it - he or she is WRONG.