Lesson 3: if you must acknowledge your child in public, shouting is the best way to make them listen

Picture the scene: a hapless toddler being dragged round the shopping centre by its (probably) credit-card happy mother (I expect she could save money by consolidating her debts), wailing about not being allowed to chew things in the toy shop or some such. Mother’s reaction: “QUIET!” Yes, shouting words in your child’s face is the most effective and swift method of calming them down.